perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
