those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
