Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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