I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
