my phone cant type all the emotion im having
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
