i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
