i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
