I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry my hands just texted you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
3 2 1 whiskey
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
