i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
