smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
