I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize