yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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