Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yo dont text me then not text me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
