P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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