I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
