Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
