Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think my moral compass just broke
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
