when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
