i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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