there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
