My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
