she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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