Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
