I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
