toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
