Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize