Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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