so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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