I want to stick my p in your. b.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
