How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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