Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
