I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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