Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
