these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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