Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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