That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
