why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize