He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
