I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
