Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
