I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize