what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
