wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
