pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
