are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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