At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
