My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
