he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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