But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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