I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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