so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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