i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
