I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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