Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
as a side note pls kill me
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