I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
