Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize