He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm passing your future prison.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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