never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
