She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
