i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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