It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize